Monday, 30 May 2016

My conscience is clear. Fuck you all.




I have had enough. I really cannot believe some people! I admitted what I did with my younique business, I held my hands up! I am moving on from all that now & enjoying my new business venture, YET there is always one out there, trying to ruin things for you! Fiona Scullard is so hell bent on being a spiteful, two faced, lying, vindictive & pathetic little troll that she cant see how ridiculous & unprofessional she looks. she's so busy trying to get one over on me posting bitchy pathetic status' all over her Facebook that she doesnt realize, whilst she does this she is not only changing people's opinions of her, but she is KILLING her Jamberry business in the process.

she claims she tried to help me, well let's see if that is the case shall we? she is the dirty rat that sent a screeen shot to Danni Taylor of me asking her to fix me a raffle, baring in mind, when I fixed her said raffle she did exactly the same for me! I have denied that I fixed numerous raffles for other presenters simply to cover their arses because unlike some skanks, I ain't a grass! but seen as all these preseters have taken Danni's side, a presenter who told me to go & KILL MYSELF, & I have now been made out to be this awful person I think that it is about time the TRUTH was told... 


The amount of raffles I fixed in the 9 months I was with Younique was 4!! & the only reason I did this was because Kel Southall, Amber Colbert, Fiona Scullard & Melanie Woods all returned the favor.. I am not the only Younique Presenter who has ever fixed a raffle, Yet I was the ONLY ONE to be severely cyber bullied, treat like utter shit & lose my business for it. If I am a con, a thief & a scammer, then so are these ladies! all of them. Fiona is no longer with Younique but she is however with Jamberry & she does run a lot of raffles. so be careful of her. 

You will find the link to Fiona's group HERE, where she runs her raffles & no doubt fixes them too! 


This whole charade & me losing my Younique business & having to start again is because of Fiona Scullard, yet she had the audacity a few days ago to message me & tell me to "let go?" she is totally up the arse of Danni Taylor - The Younique Presenter who told me to KILL MYSELF & they are all scum! in my eyes, they all need reporting! no longer will I stand for being bullied by little scum, I will be reporting Fiona's business & contacting Fiona's Upline & I will be showing her the screenshot of her slagging me off all over her Facebook when she is "supposed" to to be this professional leader. I mean seriously? she is so Bipolar it's untrue. she couldnt "lead" herself out of a paper bag! 


Moral of this story. YES I fixed a couple of raffles, but I got dealt with, I got suspended for 3 days! that should have been the end to it, yet these disgusting people, even now, are still carrying on their little bullying campaign! so please be careful if you receive a friend request from Fiona Scullard or Danni Taylor, neither of them are to be trusted & eventually Karma with bite them in the arse, because what goes around, comes around! I have tried so many times with Fiona, even after I found out it was her who dropped me in the shit & fed me to the sharks, I tried to look past it, but this is just unreal, so I am done with her & her constant attention seeking! its about time she let go of a lot of things in her life & stopped the "wois me" act, nobody gives a shit, we all have problems too! accept it, deal with it & move the hell on love!

& as for bringing my mental health problems into her bitchy status on Facebook, that's just rude! my life is none of hers, or anyone else' god damn business unless I say otherwise! 

I am so done with vindictive, two faced, pathetic, wet lettuces for friends. 

I will see to it that all of these ladies are punished, why shouldn't they be when I was?  
 

Friday, 27 May 2016

A day in the life of Hydrocephalus, Manic Depression, & now Glaucoma too! (yey)



Dear Diary,
So yesterday, I made an an appointment with my neurosurgeon (well I activated the referral) after my GP had sent the referral over due to me suffering constant migraines, nausea, blurred vision & dizziness. I did the click & book think online, but got so frustrated & confused I ended up phone the hospital in the end & sorting it that way. anyways, I got there eventually & in due course an appointment will be sent out to me in the post (sooner rather than later I hope) not going to lie, these migraines/headaches are one on top of the other, all the symptoms are there from when my shunt failed last year & I am bricking it. I am so scared, I have never been so scared in my entire life. fair enough, when it all happened last year I didn't know much of what was going on because I was far more poorly than I am now, but at the same time, I "felt" normal so it was a huge shock when I was told my shunt had failed & I guess that's what is scaring me now. I am spending as much time as I can stress-free as the stress really doesnt help the situation, & I am also spending a lot of time resting in bed, which sometimes makes me feel soo guilty because that means I am leaving my husband to do everything for our children, he doesn't mind in fact he'd rather I be in bed resting, but I still feel guilty. I just feel so worn out, fed up, deflated & useless. some days I think my family would be better off if I just drifted off in my sleep & didn't wake back up!
On top of all this, I had my eyes tested on Wednesday, & last year I was showing the early signs of Glaucoma, & now, it has worsened & so had my eye sight, so I am needing yet ANOTHER referral, but to the glaucoma clinic this time, I have been told that it will more than likely mean medications &/or dropd for the rest of my life to control the disease, just another illness to add to my list I guess. On the positive side, I am hoping that the deterioration of my glaucoma, could be the culprit to my headaches, I know its bad to say its good, but I would rather it be that & be controlled with meds, rather than it being my shunts & there being not much anyone can do & me having to live like this! I will of course keep you updated & let you know when my appointment(s) come through.

Thank you for reading, tale care of yourself, & treasure your health, as for some including myself, its not as positive. I don't really want to end this post on a negative note because although I am struggling rather a lot right now, I am also trying to stay as positive as I can, & this post that I saw, made me laugh rather a lot.


I hope you find it as amusing as I did,
thank you for reading! Xxx

The Raw Truth.



This is a freedom of speech post, about my experience with Younique. A company that is supposed to Uplift, Empower & Validate women, but I no longer believe in that after I was told to go & KILL MYSELF by a fellow presenter Danni Taylor, & then bullied by numerous other presenters for weeks after that, some wishing me dead, & others just being vile & cruel. I was FAILED by people who were supposed to be my Uplines & I was also failed by The Younique Compliance after I had begged them all to help me, & yet they did nothing because they were far too busy covering their arses & passing the book because all that matters to any of them is the lining of their pockets! So, if you are a Younique presenter, then I wouldn't bother to read this, as I am more than certain it will offend you! - but in a nutshell, I don't give a flying fuck. 


The Younique founders really need to take a closer look at the people they have presenting them! I suffer with Manic Depression, Anxiety & I also have numerous health problems. I joined Younique because I truly believed that it was this amazing company that was helping women, & just maybe it would help me, but I was wrong! oh yeah, it changed my life alright, but it wasn't for the better. so let me just start at the beginning.  


I joined this company in July 2015, it was great at first, everyone was so helpful, so friendly & "supportive". I am not going to lie, for so long I truly believed that I had found something that would change my life for the good - but I was wrong. I made a really big mistake, I decided to help a fellow presenter out & fix them a raffle because they owed their upline a pricey amount of products, so out of the goodness of my heart I fixed her a raffle - I didn't do this to cheat like so many people of younique like to believe! anyways..... I fixed this raffle, but then I fell ill as I suffer with Hydrocephalus & last year I underwent 3 lots of major brain surgery to save my life & so now I still suffer horrendous migraines daily, so I was in bed for around 2 weeks, which means I didn't get round to placing any orders, one of them orders being the fixed raffle, so then the girls upline (Danni Taylor) decided to stick her fat beak in & to avoid any aggro I just placed the order, as I was still feeling quite poorly. then a few days later I recieved a message from Danni Taylor asking for proof of me actually placing the order, I mean come on what business at all is that of hers? I refused, & that is when the bullying started, she called me a con, a theif, told me she was going to put me on a scammers page & then she proceeded to tell me to go & kill myself because my language had got slightly colorful. - this cut deep.  I had told Danni previously when I thought she was my friend about how I had once tried to commit suicide, so her throwing this in my face was just sick.  

I tried to be the bigger person & ignore what she had just thrown at me, but then a few days later, my upline's upline got in touch with me & asked me to explain myself & asked me why I had fixed a raffle, although I don't know why she bothered when she had already reported me to compliance, despite not hearing my side! she makes out she is all professional & she was looking out for her team but really, she was busy covering her arse so the lining of her pocket & ego wasn't affected never mind the fact that I was supposed to be in her team & I had just been told to go & end my life! fixing a fucking raffle is nothing in comparison! she then proceeded to tell me she couldn't help me - yeah bollocks, she didnt want to help me because she is a selfish bint - MONEY MONEY MONEY is ALL she clearly cares about.... Compliance got in touch with me a few days later & I got a warning for the raffle business, THAT should have been an end to it, but no! the bullying then got worse, I had random people I had never even spoken to messaging my personal profile, wishing me dead, calling me all sorts & THEN Danni Taylor set up a freebie for all presenters who reported me because for some reason in her deluded little mind, what she did was perfectly fine - like fuck it is... I then went back to the upline who didnt want to help me (Lucy Berwick) yeah i'm naming you ALL! & she "told" me that she had been in touch with Danni's upline, whether she actually had I will never know, because remember this "supportive" purple status upline, didnt want to help me.... so after this I binned off all my uplines, my sponsor had by this point already sacked me off because you know, she's green status now so the caring person she was before, her sayng she wanted to be my "friend" was all lies! she has now blocked me on Facebook even after she said that she wanted to stay friends HAHA, some friend. so I decided to try another presenter, Vicky Noble, but i'm duno why I bothered, because JUST like the rest she fobbed me off, said there was nothing she could do, it was out of her hands & I was to wait for compliance! yeah, I bet if the shoe was on the other foot & someone told her to go kill herself, she'd been taking it to the top! fucking hypocrites the lot of them! so I did some digging & got in touch with compliance myself & guess what.... all this bullying should have been dealt with by my UPLINES - you know, them "supportive, loving people" that apparently "think the world of their team" WHAT A MASSIVE PILE OF SHIT. after this I lost all passion & respect for Younique, the uplines didn't want to help me & neither did Compliance, they were all passing the book like the bunch of unprofessional arse-bandits they are, so why would I want to work with such twats building my business & making them look good? I didn't, it was nothing but a shambles, a bunch of two faced, backstabbing women only caring about how much money they could make by using abused women as their slogan! 

The Younique Foundation is probably an amazing place, but as for the make-up side of it, none of them care about those poor defenseless women, its all about MONEY & how high up in the company they can get, just a bunch of of desperate money orientated dogs selling products that to be frank are a pile of shit for what you pay, the liquid foundation is a watery pile of wank, & as for their products being 100% cruelty free, I wouldn't believe that for a minute, hence why I have never once said they are. they cant tell you what goes into their raw materials therefore their products ARE NOT 100% cruelty free, so go stick that in your overpriced Opulence Lipstick & smoke it!! Younique is women all competing against each other to the point were things like this happen, BULLYING HAPPENS & then nobody wants to take the blame because they're too busy thinking about their ego! i'd rather be thrown into a cage full of Lions!

so yeah, because nobody wanted to help me, shame on you all! this freebie that had been set up by the revolting Danni Taylor, eventually got me suspended for 3 days, so after that I thought fuck it, I don't want to work for this pile of shit for a company no more! I messaged compliance, had it out with them about Danni, but even they didn't give a shit, they just sent me this shitty email about how they had "reached out" to Danni & told her not to do it again, REACHED OUT? Like what the fuck? anyone could reach out, I could reach our & ring the stupid cunts neck! who do Compliance think they are, fucking Jesus? its slack as fuck & as for a suitable punishment, a slap on the hand? really? YOUNIQUE IS A FUCKING SHAMBLES & I advise everyone & anyone to not Join them. 



So...... I then went on to tell compliance not to bother reactivating my account after the fuckers suspended me, because I no longer wanted to run a business under a company that does absolutely nothing about Cyber Bullying. Danni Taylor is still running her business! nothing was done. the bully got so bad that I had no choice but to give up my business! so I ask if you are reading this to please warn all of your friends, family & loved ones, NOT to join Younique & NOT to buy from Danni Taylor!! 

would you buy from a presenter who goes around telling women with manic depression to kill themselves? Younique compliance also told me that raffles are ILLEGAL when you don't have a licence & guess what? they don't. so not only have I contacted the police about the cyber bullying, I have also contacted Trading Standards & the papers about how I was treat, & my next move is to speak with the gambling association, the whole fucking company is BENT.

You will find Danni Taylor's Raffle Group here..
please report the group & warn everyone you know to steer clear of her, because she is a spiteful, disgusting, vile, disgrace, she not only does Younique, but you will see in the group, that she runs numerous other companies too! Yet another one who is just a money orientated cunt nugget. no matter how much it's dressed up, Younique is the BIGGEST pyramid Scheme out there... & I wish I had never joined & let such vile women into my life, so steer clear. I wouldn't want any other women being bullied & treat in the awful manner that I was, join another company, one that is going to look out for you & follow through with their mission, because I can tell you something from my experience Younique does not, not the cosmetics side anyways!



I am not, & will never be sorry for writing this post, in fact I hope it helps many other women who have been treat like trash by Younique Presenters. I know many of women who were outcast & ended up sacking off their "business" because they weren't given the help that the presenters say will be given. its a web of lies to reel you in so they can build their teams & earn from you, its pretty fucking sick! & apparently, Vicky Noble has now gone to the Police this post, this amuses me because the police cant do nothing asides from "advise" me to take it down! YET AGAIN, Younique Presenters are trying to find ways of covering their arses!

well I think its about time everyone knew the truth about Younique & its dodgy, self centered, money orientated presenters. when you join younique you dont join to "run your own business" when you join younique, you become apart of a CULT, this I have learnt & seen, & when your face doesn't fit, they make you feel like shit, they don't help you, they pressure you to "do this, that & the other to succeed" yet when it all boils down to it, they do that so that THEY can succeed. I made myself ill because of this company, & I will never forgive these women that made out they were my friends, when really they only cared about me working my arse off building a business just to make them look good, all they care about is themselves.

Thursday, 19 May 2016

I am a Hydro Warrior... What is your Super Power?




Dear Diary.

I think that it is more than safe to say that today has been well & truly PANTS. This morning I went to see my GP to see about getting some new medication for my migraines as the stuff I am currently on isn't working for me anymore. 

When I got in there I completely broke down, I told him how the migraines are daily & that if I am not stuck in bed due to having a migraine then I am stuck into bed from being so exhausted & needing to constantly sleep. I told him how I have been suffering with blurred vision, dizzy spells, nausea & that the memory loss is just getting worse, I am forgetting the most minor things, the most littlest of things, I wake up some days I don't even know what day it is - & no, I am not exaggerating! so my GP is now referring me back to my GP because he doesn't want to give me anymore medications just in case my shunts are once again playing up, so for now I have to wait it out, continue with the medications that I am on & hope that I get an appointment through soon, becuse in all honesty, I cannot cope anymore. 

I just want all of this to stop, ever since I had surgery in Jan 2015, I feel like my life has become so different, I feel like I took the last 10 years when my shunt was working for granted, because now that I have two shunts in place, I wake up everyday poorly, there is this constant pressure in my head, every morning I wake up to nausea & a headache! some days I just want to die, some nights I go to bed, & I hope that I will go to sleep & never wake up. 

I need the room to stop spinning, I need this constant nausea to piss off, & the headaches to do one! I want my life back, the life that I had before all of this. before my shunt decided to give up on me. I am really sorry for this negative post, I just really needed to get this off my chest lmao! 

Thank you for reading if you have read this to the end. 
I will keep you all updated, please keep your fingers crossed that I get my appointment soon. X


















Sunday, 15 May 2016

Diary post number, i'm not sure! Hey there!



Hello there diary, it's been a long time! 

so I just wanted to do an upto date get to know me kind of post for all the people that have just stumbled apon my blog, hey there!
👋 but I also feel I need to do an update for all the likers & followers that have been here from the very beginning & that's been a while now - 4 years!😳😁😁
Okay so my name is Jharmain Mortimer, my friends call me Jharr, I am almost 28 years old & I have the worlds most loving & supportive husband that any girl could ever ask for!👌 we in live in Leeds (UK) with our two beautiful children, Joel who is 6 this year, & Felicity who is 2 this year! my blog will also be about them, probably more them than me to be fair!😂 I am disabled, I was born at 27 weeks & I live with 2 VP Shunts due to Hydrocephalus & I also live with severe Bronchiactisis Lung Disease throughout both of my lungs, I also suffer with Glaucoma, Manic Depression & Anxiety! an absolute wreck basically!😝😝
Last year I went through 3 lots of major brain surgery due to my shunt failing after 10 years of being well & I ended up needing a second one putting in place so yeah, now I live with two shunts!🙌 on a daily basis I suffer migraines, fatigue, & nausea, but I still try really hard to get on with life even tho I do spend a lot of my time stuck in bed!👊 I also suffer quite bad with memory loss... So if you don't always get a reply from me, or I forget to do something here that I said I would, its probably because I forgot!😂 seriously though, I have to laugh otherwise I would probably spend the majority of my days in tears!😭😂
What else? Oh yeah, I have just started my own business with Acti-Labs which is a company that specialises in HD makeup, inch loss, weight loss, & skin care!😁😁😁 I am really enjoying it!👍 I was with Younique for a brief period but it was just too much for me, it was too how do I put this nicely? 'Clicky' if your face didn't fit or you didn't do something asap then lord forbid, so I sacked that off & basically started something else.. as you do!👌😂😂
I am currently concentrating on my health at the moment tho as I am struggling quite a bit with this British Bipolar weather, I mean seriously, raining one day, glorious sunshine the next, it's really messing around with the pressures in my brain!!😳 ..
Anyways I think I might have just about covered everything, that I can remember!😝😂😂 I really look forward to getting to know all the new people that have joined my blog & also getting back in touch with the regulars! Thank you for still being here guys, it really does mean a lot.💗💗




Thank you for reading.. 
Speak soon beauties!😘😘😘

Saturday, 5 September 2015

Diary Post #115. September is Hydrocephlus Awareness Month.wee3ef


Dear Diary..

On Thursday 20th August I saw my neursosurgeon, because since having 4 lots of brain surgery in January I have since been suffering excrutiating headaches that started up in May & have been daily ever since. On Friday 14th August, I had xrays of my abdomin & abdomain done, followed by a ct scan of my head where both of my vp-shunts are placed. On Thursday we saw my consultant & after going through my scan with me from January-August he has told us that he is 99% sure that I am suffering with Low Pressure Headaches. These are very common in Hydrocephalus shunted patients & can last a good few months, in most cases they do settle down themselves & I am really hoping that mine do.




My reason for this post is that this month... September, is Hydrocephalus awareness month & for myself, & the thousands of other Hydro warriors out there, I want to spread awareness.. so please, if you are reading this post. Please share. I am 24 weeks post FOUR surgeries. 3 brain surgeries & 1 major stomach surgery, & everyday I live with constant pressure, & yet, I still rise to every challenge that is thrown at me. 

Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Diary Post #114. Time is going far too fast.

Dear Diary.. 

Today I am feeling really old & really emotional. On Monday 7th September, my almost 5 year old son, my baby boy, is going to be starting school for the first time! On Sunday we bought all of his uniform & when he put it on for the first time, so we could make sure it all fit, I was almost in tears! I can't belive how fast the years have gone. it only feels like yesterday that Joel was a tiny baby.. & now he's starting his new adventure into Reception.

I am so proud of him & how far he has come in his little life, the hurdles he has leaped & the problems he has come through, he's just amazing & I love him soo soo much. X 


Sunday, 16 August 2015

Diary Post #113.. A general Update..



Dear Diary..

So I have been wanting to write a blog post for a few days now, only I haven't known what to say, I have had so much going on, & so much going around in my head that's its been a struggle to put it all into words & it actually make sense.. I am going through so many emotions at the moment that I don't quite know how I should be feeling. Firstly there is my health, I attended Leeds General Infirmary for a ct scan on my head on Friday (14th August) to once again check my shunts, as since May I have been suffering with headaches, nausea, blurred vision, mood swings & personality change.

We saw my neurosurgeon on 6th August & it was him who arranged the ct scan, as he "suspects" that my shunts may well be over-draining. well, his actual words where that he thinks the shunt on my right side isnt doing very much at all, & it's that shunt that is causing the headaches & pain! but he also suspsects that if the right one isnt doing much it could be placing strain on the left one, which could be causing that one to over-drain! I am really hoping this ct scan shows something, he showed us the ct scan from Feburary, just after I had 3 revisions, & my ventricals where closed completely, then the scan I had in May showed my ventricals had opened again, but not to a point that was worrying, & because these headaches have continued that is why he has wanted another ct scan doing.. he doesnt seem to think there will be much difference in the scan that was done on Friday & the one that was done in May, so I guess we shall soon see.. but if it shows that my shunts are over-draining then he has said new shunts will need to be put in! (fun) so I am now just waiting for Thursday (20th August) so that I can find out what is what. I hate waiting, it's so stressful, especially when I am in so much pain all the time at the moment.

****

Then ontop of all this I am a bit of an emtional wreck as on 7th September my baby boy will be starting reception & I just can't believe that he is growing up! it still only feels like yesterday to me that he was placed in my arms for the very first time after a long & painful labor. I guess after all that he has been through in his little life, I am just so pleased that he is now a healthy, happy little boy & just like any normal child his age he is beginning his new adventure into school.. but for me its so overwhelming.. I never imagined that he would grow up this fast. - & not just him, his sister too! Felicity is 13 months old now, & she is so advanced for her age, even if she is a little diddy-bum! she started walking just days after her first birthday, she is so independant it's untrue.. although I do have to admit, I love how she is still that bit clingy toward me! it makes me feel loved & wanted, especially now that Joel is well & truly grown up & doesnt like to be treated like a "baby" because he is a "big boy now!"


***

Asif all of that hasn't had my head in a spin, I have also taken the plunge & began my own little adventure.. on 25th July I joined Younique, which for those who don't know, it is an independant company that sells natural mineral make-up & it's beyond amazing! I was never ever a make-up sort of girl until I got interested in Younique.. I began by watching a few of my facebook friends as they joined up, I liked their pages & basically observed everything for a couple of weeks before coming to the decision that I wanted to do it myself... so far I have placed two orders & I am now wearing make-up almost daily, just doing this & being able to focus on something has boosted my self-esteem & confidence, & not to mention, helped with my low moods! I got worried that I was going down that slippery slope with my Depression when my shunts started playing up because I just feel so poorly all of the time, I don't manage to spend much time with my children because I spend a lot of time in bed, so becoming a Younique presenter has been a very welcomed distraction.. & my new obsession, i'm not going to lie! ;)

If anyone is interested in purchasing from me or even just checking my website out then here is how. 

My online personal website for my Younique can be found here...
& I also have a business page on Facebook that can be found here...


I will be updating again in a few days mostly on whats happening with my shunts.. & whats the neurosurgeon has said ect! Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this. It means a lot to me. Xxxx 



Monday, 3 August 2015

Diary Post #112.. A Family afternoon out & about.




Dear Diary.. 
I haven't been around on my blog too much of late & I just want to apologise for that. I started up with Younique this past week & it kinda got a little bit addictive, that on top of it being the school holidays, so I rarely get chance to have anymore than 15-20 minutes at the computer. I am a little bit all over this week too, as on Thursday I am seeing my neurosurgeon again due to all of these constant headaches since surgery 8 months ago! no medication that I have been given seems to work, for long anyways- the only thing that does is sleep! & well, when I have two children I can't be spending my days in bed nursing a migraine! so fingers crossed he can sort me out WITHOUT me having to go through anymore surgery- I have been asking what to expect on Hydrocephalus sites & I kinda wish I hadn't now as most of the people I have spoken to have said my shunts sound like they're over draining, which usually means a shunt revision! & well, asif 4 revisions (surgery) this year already isnt enough! so yeah, i'm crossing my fingers that something can be done- anything other than more surgery.
😒👌jeejeje
On the brighter side of life, this afternoon we headed out for a little afternoon family walk. it's been lovely! the kids, mostly Joel has been hyper as hell & full of energy so we decided to take a walk.. making sure we stopped off at the park so that Joel & Felicity could play for a while.. we must have stayed there for well over an hour & then we walked home again! altogether I think where out of the house for around 3 hours & for me at least, it has definetely blown them cobwebs away, & I have also gotten some exercise out of it too🙌😁😁
so for the rest of this evening I think the plan is to just relax.. eat some crap & chillout. I hope everyone here is well & I am sorry that I kinda abandoned my blog just recently.

Friday, 24 July 2015

Diary Post #111. SCHOOL IS OUT!!!!!!!!!!


Dear Diary.. 

Today Joel had his last EVER session at The Grange Nursery & as of September my "not so little anymore" baby boy will be starting at big boy school & going into reception! 

Tonight I have been looking through his portfolio that his keyworker gave me before we came home today & I am not going to lie when I say I shed a few tears.



I never actually ever imagined him leaving that place, & I am so sad that he now has, but at the same time I am really loking forward to September & watching my boy start a new adventure in big boy school. I don't want him to grow up & I am feeling seriously emotional this evening. :(