Tuesday, 14 June 2016

Married for 8 years today - WOW.

- 8 years ago today you made me the happiest girl in the world when I became your wife, & ever since you have always been there, you lift me up when I am down, you wipe my tears when I cry & you encourage me in everything I do!😘

I love you so much, thank you for picking me out of I don't know how many woman onlineπŸ˜‚ I love you with all my heart, forever & always. Happy anniversary babe.πŸ’πŸ’–πŸ’– I can't believe I have been married to you 8 years today!πŸ’ we have had our ups & downs like every couple does, but every time we only come out stronger, even when I abused you with fish fingers!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I love you so much, here's to the next 8 years baby!πŸ’‘πŸ’–πŸ’–

Friend or Foe?

Dear Diary...

There is nothing worse than thinking you have a made a decent friend in someone when really, you never did, especially when they fall out with you for something so minor & rather pathetic. 

Joanne Simpson who I thought was a friend - she has shown her true side now & well I can tell you, she's malicious & nasty! she has been down to our boys school this week & tried telling their teacher a pack of utter bullshit, just so that they can't play together anymore, talk about cruel. she told their teacher that they had a falling out YET the teacher didn't understand because they boys play lovely together at school! so then both myself & my husband sat down with Joel's teacher & told her all about what had happened & how Joanne is holding a grudge against me & using her son as a weapon getting him to say stuff to Joel & have him come home upset. 

What sort of "mother" does this? 

I actually can't fucking stand parents like that.. so Joel's teacher is going to be ENCOURAGING the boys friendship because whether she is his mother or not, Joanne has no right meddling in her son's friendships because she's got a chip on her shoulder, it's just fucking wrong on so many levels. no 5 year old should be dragged into such horrible childish games. although, this morning when I dropped Joel off in school, it did give me great pleasure chatting with her son & Joel whilst they explained the beach house shop to me, whilst his mother stood seething, because she daren't say anything to my face! one word; coward. I am not going to stop talking to her son just because she is a bell-end & likes to use her kids as weapons! no wonder none of them have a dad around with her as a mother. 

This all started because Joanne placed an order with me when I was doing Younique, only anyone who does Younique will know that Liquid Foundation was none existant from Nov-April, & Joanne wanted that & I couldn't get her any, so instead, I offered to refund her, which she "seemed" happy about - but then she disappeared off the face of the earth, she wasnt seen at school for around a month, her son wasn't even in school, & then the first time I did see her again, she asked me about the money & so I went round her house to give her it, because I wanted to clear the air, but instead, because she's such a coward, she sent her smack head fella to the door, he started gobbing off & calling me a thief, a cunt, ect, I mean how am I a thief exactly? I think they both need to look in a dictionary... she wasn't around for me to give her the money back & I was stood at her door with her money in my hand, yet still, I was a thief...... okay then?!!!! since this, she has been sending me text messages continuing to call me a thief & such, yet when she sees me on the school run does she say anything? no! she keeps her mouth shut because she's a coward & knows if she did say anything I would lay the cunt out. gobby little arse-bandit. she speaks to other people's children in the school playground like shit, she smokes weed around her 5 year old son which then makes him ill & he's off school for god knows how long... probably until she's not too high to walk him there! YET, she claims to have problems with her liver. LOLπŸ˜‚

I did let all of this just ride over my head, until she brought my son into it, then she made it personal. I have now told her that if her son calls me a thief to Joel just one more time, I will be taking it further with the school & it will be classed as bullying.. I mean the kid is only following in his mothers foot steps after all, & if he's seeing her acting like a twat, than of course he is going to copy! some people shouldn't have kids! she wouldn't know how to be a role model if it smacked her in the teeth! getting high & being a 24-7 cunt is not good parenting. 

This is the second time I have tried to sort things with Joanne now, first time I was in a friends kitchen & Joanne was talking to me absolutely fine, told me to forget about it all - probably putting on a show for this other friend - who is clearly blind, because this friend has now taken Joanne's side, even though she claims to have not taken sides! I was good enough for her to hang out with & bitch about Joanne to when she was AWOL, but now that she is back on the scene i'm dropped & not good enough? well, she can fuck off too! the two faced cow. i'm not having my son round people like that, he deserves better. they're both as bad as each-other, up each-others arses like flies round shit, claiming to be "besties" biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard. but as far as I am concerned she can go fuck herself sideways with a joint, the stupid scruffy runt. Joanne is just a spiteful messed up cow that needs to do some growing up, because one of these days she's guna get lippy with the wrong person & well, I hope I am there to see that!

she's like what, in her 30's & she's down at the school telling lies to the teachers just because she doesn't have her junkie boyfriend to protect her anymore.... what an utter loser. total & complete arse-bandit.

Monday, 6 June 2016

Race For Life 2016 - At Temple Newsam, Leeds.

Dear Diary..

On Sunday 5th June 2016, I did the race for life with my mother in law. My first time doing it in 2 years due to last year I was recovering from 3 lots of brain surgery, & the year before I was 38 weeks pregnant with my daughter Felicity. It was an amazing day & I loved every second of it, & as usual, I cannot wait for next year. 

We set off for Temple Newsam in Leeds where the event was being held at 10am, the race started at 11am, it took us approx 20 minutes to get there, & when we did, the atmosphere was utter electric. so many people had turned up to join in this fantastic & amazing event, it was literally A SEA OF PINK! an army of women all raising money for the same thing. to kill Cancer. we did a warm up which was so much fun, everyone bouncing around & dancing, completely buzzing with excitement, it is definitively one occasion I am was proud to be apart of. we then all set off at 11am. first the runner went, then the joggers shortly behind & then us, the walkers, following behind the joggers. 

The weather couldn't have turned out any better. it was a gorgeous day & everyone was in such high spirits, you could hear people chatting among themselves, some where chanting & sitting & others where laughing & telling jokes! my & my mum in got talking about all sorts, the best time for a good natter & a catch up! we got to the huge hill, the one thing I was wuite worried about, I wasnt sure that I would get up it, because like I said, I hadn't done it for 2 years, & its really rather a big big hill! but I did it, with even realizing, my mum in law said to me, well we're the top & I was like "eh, what?" & when I looked back we had walked all the way to the top, & I was so busy talking I hadn't even thought about it. 

whilst we walking we also past some cows, that were very friendly, & where all stood at the gate watching us as we walked b, so I plodded over & took some pictures, as you do.. & then we carried on walking & before I knew it, we were near the flower gardens, about 15 minutes away from the finish line, we had almost one it, I had almost done it, & I hadn't even broken a sweat! we finally got to the finish line & awaitng us was my father in law, my husband & our two children at the barriers clapping us on.. Joel & fliss wanted to finish with us, so they climbed over the barriers & crossed the finish line with us! it was immense! at te finish line I got a bottle of water (I was thirsty as mad) a little snack & my medal!

I am so proud of myself, especially after everything that I have been through myself in the last 16 months, when you put your own health problems to aside, just for one day, to do something for hundreds of other people out there suffering & fighting a fight that is so much bigger & worse than yours, it feels absolutely amazing! 

I cannot wait for 16th July 2016, when I will be taking part in my second charity event & shaving my head for Macmillan Cancer Suppport, so keep your eyes peeled for that post, 

& thank you for taking the time to read this one! Xxx 

Wednesday, 1 June 2016

- Living life with Hydrocephalus - The story behind my scars.

On September 30th, 1987 I was born at 27 & half weeks. I was born so early, my lungs weren't properly formed & were therefore just a huge mass that didn't work. My placenta also came away inside my mothers womb, so I was actually born dead. Thankfully surgeons manage to get my heart beating again, but I suffered a 50% ventricular brain hemorrhage & it was a race against time to save my life. was born in Barrow in Furness, Cumbria, & after they managed to get me breathing & stable again I was then transferred over to Leeds General infirmary by ambulance were I was to undergo major brain surgery to get a vp-shunt placed in my head to start helping drain the excess fluid from my brain (hydrocephalus) which was caused by the brain bleed. The journey to Leeds was 3 hours long, to which a paramedic spent the whole time hand pumping air into my lungs with a bag to keep me alive because they were so fragile that if they had of used a machine my lungs would have quite literally blown up! Once I arrived at Leeds I had to have a procedure called a Shunt Tap that meant a needle was placed into the center of my brain to ease the pressure & release as much fluid as possible before I had surgery. I was only a few hours old when this was done. I then had to go through a 9 hour surgery to get the shunt placed into my skull so that it could do the job of draining the fluid. Altogether I spent 7 months in Leeds General Neonatal Unit recovering from a brain hemorrhage & having major brain surgery! I was one very sick baby, but I manage to pull through & I am here to tell my story. 

When I was 16 years old, doctors told were going to operate & remove the bottom lobes of both my lungs, but when they did xrays it was revealed that my bronchiectasis was spread right throughout both of my lungs so nothing could be done. I don't really know many people who are adults & live with this disease, I tend to know of friends who have babies with it, so I don't tend to talk about it. Today I am almost 29 years old, & although I have been left with severe lung disease for the rest of my life, & I also live with two fully working vop-shunts in my brain draining excess CSF Fluid (Cerebal Spinal Fluid) off my brain, I don't let things define or defeat me.. well at least I try. I live my life to the fullest as you really don't know what is around each corner. Ever since I was a baby, I have always had my mum by my side throughout all of my brain surgeries, so having to go through four surgeries alone, all on my own last year was really quite terrifying! of course though, my mum was constantly on the phone to my husband being updated, & she even phoned the neurology ward herself a few times especially seen as she knew exactly what it would be that they were doing! but I still cant imagine how hard it must have been for her being over 100+ miles away from me whilst I was going through all that on my own - I know it would break my heart if it was any of my children. They definitely don't call it "Mummy intuition" for nothing, if I hadn't of called my mum to have a winge about my headaches a few days before, & she hadnt of urged me to go to hospital, I may-well have not been here writing this today. I love my mum, & even when we are hundreds of miles apart she is still there, keeping me safe & looking after me. 

On Monday 26th January 2015, I phoned my mum for our usual natter, but I got talking about how i'd had a headache for almost 3 days & that an unusal lump had developed under my shunt valve & that it was getting bigger, I didn't think it was anything too serious to be honest, & I was just going to go to bed & then call the doctor in the morning, but the urgency in my mums voice actually scared me, she told me to call an ambulance right away & get to the hospital, so I did just that. when I got to A+E everything happened really quite fast, I was rushed off for a CT Scan, & within just a few hours I was face to face speaking to a neurosurgeon (Mr Thomson) who was telling me that my shunt had broken & blocked & that I needed to go down to theater straight away to have it fixed. He then left to scrub & a nurse entered to put a canular in my arm & I just totally broke down - this was the first time that I had ever done this alone, & 27 years old or not, I was terrified of being put to sleep. I was then taken down for my first lot of surgery at 2am early hours Tuesday morning, & then later that day, I was rushed down again (so 2 surgeries within 12 hours) because the shunt wasnt positioned properly so wasnt draining like it should of been doing. I was still suffering a headache, & by this point I had started to vomit too.  To be honest though, I dont quite remember much of what happened after that.... I was way too out of it & poorly, although the one thing I do remember is a nurse telling me that she was going to put me a cathetor in because I kept wetting the bed! o.O wtf? Wednesday morning rolled round & after 2 lots of surgery I was actually feeling quite good. although I was still having that pain in the arse headache so I just spent the day resting up & sleeping & if my CT scan came back okay on Thursday then I could go home. ONly on Thursday morning, I woke up feeling nauseousm I couldnt face eating & I could barely lift my head off the bed without vomiting, so I was placed on "nil by mouth" & monitored for the rest of the day which I spent either crying in pain or sleeping. (fun) at around 3pm I was taken for another CT scan, which revealed that my shunt had again blocked, so Mr Thomson made the decision that he was going to fix my shunt AGAIN but also place a second shunt on the left side of my head just behind my ear because one on its own wasnt handling the extra accumulation of CFS fluid & kept blocking under the strain. This meant that I had now been through 3 brain surgeries in as little as 3 days. I went down to theater around 5pm on Thursday evening & when I came back round properly, I was back on the wars & it was 1..45pm! I remember this so clearly because for the first time since being admitted on Monday I didn't have a headache! I kept telling the nurse,, I don't have a headache, thats good right? & thankfully she agreed. I slept right through Thursday night & was told it was the most peaceful the nurses had seen me! Friday morning I was gorggy & a bit dizzy from the drugs, but still no headache (yey) & I was starving! I totally demolished four pieces of toast, 3 cups of tea, & 2 bowls of cereal! I had another ct scan Friday morning & finally, it revealed that everything was working as it should be! so I was also told that if I was ready, I could go home later that day. I was discharged Friday 30th January in the evening & my husband & father in law came to collect me from the hospital.

I was back at home for 10 days,  & around day 6, I had noticed that the area around my stomach scaring had swelled, I asked a nurse about it when I went to have my head stitches out & she didn't seem concerned - or even arsed when I think back now! then on Tuesday 9th February, I sat on the sofa with my husband to watch a film & all we heard was a giant POP & suddenly I was soaked in fluid.. my husband joked at first & asked me if I was pregnant & if my waters had just gone.... I was literally dripping the scaring was leaking & it wasn't stopping, it was running like a tap!so again I phoned my mum for her advice & she said to go back upto the hospital, so off I went... again! as soon as I got there, I was sent straight up to the neurology ward where a ct scan & an xray was done, by this point I totally knew what was coming & that I was going back down to theater! great! my fourth operation in as little as 15 days! I was told that the tubing that runs from my brain & into my bladder had dislodged & was sitting just above my stomach cavity & so the fluid that was draining off my brain was then building up behind my scar & that is why it split. Had I not once again listened to my mum, & gone to the hospital it could have been very dangerous & had an infection got in there it would of had a clear run straight up the tube & to my brain! very scary. At 1am Tuesday morning I was taken into theater & whilst I was there it took surgeons 7.5 hours to fix me, but thankfully they didn't have to go back into my head & do a full revision & were able to just fix the tubes, my tubes are now stitched into a main vein in my stomach so that they cant pop out again! On Wednesday I was plagued with headaches due to them wiggling everything about & disturbing my tubes, so I spent the majority of the day sleeping, but then I woke up Thursday I was feeling loads better, I awt breakfast, I got up & sat in the chair & I even managed to have a little shower to freshen myself up! then when the doctors came round they said that if I felt ready I could go home - again! 

I have now beaten my personal record of surgery's on my shunt, I have been down to theatre 3 times before in just a few days, but never 4 times! I am now 16 months post op, & to be honest, its been hellish! I have not had a single break for migraines! I have been in & out of the Neurology ward a few times but nothing has shown up on scans to say anything is wrong, so I am basically living like this at the moment, I went to my GP last week May 2016) & I asked him to change my migraine medication because it just wasn't working anymore & the worst thing happened..... He has decided that it would be best all round if I am referred back to my neurosurgeon as from the symptoms I have given him, he doesnt want to prescribe me anything different just in case it is due to my shunts in slow failure. great) so I am now awaiting an appointment, spending the majority of my days sleeping in bed due to huge amounts of pressure in my head & migraines that come & go, nausea, serious memory loss & dizzy spells! oh how it's fun being me. 

One day is all I ask, just one day where I am headache free... is that really too much to ask? fingers crossed this appointment comes through soon, because I really am almost at the end of my rope... i've had enough! 

Monday, 30 May 2016

My conscience is clear. Fuck you all.

I have had enough. I really cannot believe some people! I admitted what I did with my younique business, I held my hands up! I am moving on from all that now & enjoying my new business venture, YET there is always one out there, trying to ruin things for you! Fiona Scullard is so hell bent on being a spiteful, two faced, lying, vindictive & pathetic little troll that she cant see how ridiculous & unprofessional she looks. she's so busy trying to get one over on me posting bitchy pathetic status' all over her Facebook that she doesnt realize, whilst she does this she is not only changing people's opinions of her, but she is KILLING her Jamberry business in the process.

she claims she tried to help me, well let's see if that is the case shall we? she is the dirty rat that sent a screeen shot to Danni Taylor of me asking her to fix me a raffle, baring in mind, when I fixed her said raffle she did exactly the same for me! I have denied that I fixed numerous raffles for other presenters simply to cover their arses because unlike some skanks, I ain't a grass! but seen as all these preseters have taken Danni's side, a presenter who told me to go & KILL MYSELF, & I have now been made out to be this awful person I think that it is about time the TRUTH was told... 

The amount of raffles I fixed in the 9 months I was with Younique was 4!! & the only reason I did this was because the following Younique presenters; Kel Southall, Amber Colbert, Fiona Scullard & Melanie Woods all returned the favor & fixed me a raffle so you see, I am not the only Younique Presenter who has ever fixed a raffle, Yet I was the ONLY ONE to be severely cyber bullied, treat like utter shit by my sponsor & my uplines (who claim to think the world of their downlines!) oh yeah & to be the only one that felt so badly bullied to the point I was suicidal, that I ended up giving up my business! Younique isn't what its cracked up to be... all those presenters who made out they were all about Upliftinf, Empwering & Validating, all those women I believed & gave me my confidence back, where also the ones to take it away again when they kicked me out into the cold & treat me like shit on their shoe, I now wouldn't recommend the Younique company to a TRAMP, let alone a woman who feels bad about herself! its a disgusting company, & as a whole, all it cares about is sales & MONEY! Therefore, if I am a CON, A THIEF & a truly bad person for fixing a couple of raffles because I was lead to believe I was helping people, then so are the rest of the Younique presenters who have ever fixed raffles. Fiona is no longer with Younique but she is however with Jamberry & she does run a lot of raffles. so be careful of her. 

You will find the link to Fiona's group HERE, where she runs her raffles & no doubt fixes them too! 

This whole charade & me losing my Younique business & having to start again is because of Fiona Scullard & the rest of the Younique Presenters that rounded up on me, yet she had the audacity a few days ago to message me & tell me to "let go?" she is totally up the arse of Danni Taylor - The Younique Presenter who told me to KILL MYSELF & they are all scum! in my eyes, they all need reporting! no longer will I stand for being bullied by little scum, I will be reporting Fiona's business & contacting Fiona's Upline & I will be showing her the screenshot of her slagging me off all over her Facebook when she is "supposed" to to be this professional leader. I mean seriously? she is so Bipolar it's untrue. she couldnt "lead" herself out of a paper bag! 

Moral of this story. YES I fixed a couple of raffles, but I got dealt with, I got suspended for 3 days! that should have been the end to it, yet these disgusting people, even now, are still carrying on their little bullying campaign! so please be careful if you receive a friend request from Fiona Scullard or Danni Taylor, neither of them are to be trusted & eventually Karma with bite them in the arse, because what goes around, comes around! I have tried so many times with Fiona, even after I found out it was her who dropped me in the shit & fed me to the sharks, I tried to look past it, but this is just unreal, so I am done with her & her constant attention seeking! its about time she let go of a lot of things in her life & stopped the "wois me" act, nobody gives a shit, we all have problems too! accept it, deal with it & move the hell on love!

& as for bringing my mental health problems into her bitchy status on Facebook, that's just rude! my life is none of hers, or anyone else' god damn business unless I say otherwise! 

I am so done with vindictive, two faced, pathetic, wet lettuces for friends. 

I will see to it that all of these ladies are punished, why shouldn't they be when I was?  

Friday, 27 May 2016

A day in the life of Hydrocephalus, Manic Depression, & now Glaucoma too! (yey)

Dear Diary,
So yesterday, I made an an appointment with my neurosurgeon (well I activated the referral) after my GP had sent the referral over due to me suffering constant migraines, nausea, blurred vision & dizziness. I did the click & book think online, but got so frustrated & confused I ended up phone the hospital in the end & sorting it that way. anyways, I got there eventually & in due course an appointment will be sent out to me in the post (sooner rather than later I hope) not going to lie, these migraines/headaches are one on top of the other, all the symptoms are there from when my shunt failed last year & I am bricking it. I am so scared, I have never been so scared in my entire life. fair enough, when it all happened last year I didn't know much of what was going on because I was far more poorly than I am now, but at the same time, I "felt" normal so it was a huge shock when I was told my shunt had failed & I guess that's what is scaring me now. I am spending as much time as I can stress-free as the stress really doesnt help the situation, & I am also spending a lot of time resting in bed, which sometimes makes me feel soo guilty because that means I am leaving my husband to do everything for our children, he doesn't mind in fact he'd rather I be in bed resting, but I still feel guilty. I just feel so worn out, fed up, deflated & useless. some days I think my family would be better off if I just drifted off in my sleep & didn't wake back up!
On top of all this, I had my eyes tested on Wednesday, & last year I was showing the early signs of Glaucoma, & now, it has worsened & so had my eye sight, so I am needing yet ANOTHER referral, but to the glaucoma clinic this time, I have been told that it will more than likely mean medications &/or dropd for the rest of my life to control the disease, just another illness to add to my list I guess. On the positive side, I am hoping that the deterioration of my glaucoma, could be the culprit to my headaches, I know its bad to say its good, but I would rather it be that & be controlled with meds, rather than it being my shunts & there being not much anyone can do & me having to live like this! I will of course keep you updated & let you know when my appointment(s) come through.

Thank you for reading, tale care of yourself, & treasure your health, as for some including myself, its not as positive. I don't really want to end this post on a negative note because although I am struggling rather a lot right now, I am also trying to stay as positive as I can, & this post that I saw, made me laugh rather a lot.

I hope you find it as amusing as I did,
thank you for reading! Xxx

The Raw Truth.

This is a freedom of speech post, about my experience with Younique. A company that is supposed to Uplift, Empower & Validate women, but I no longer believe in that after I was told to go & KILL MYSELF by a fellow presenter Danni Taylor, & then bullied by numerous other presenters for weeks after that, some wishing me dead, & others just being vile & cruel. I was FAILED by people who were supposed to be my Uplines & I was also failed by The Younique Compliance after I had begged them all to help me, & yet they did nothing because they were far too busy covering their arses & passing the book because all that matters to any of them is the lining of their pockets! So, if you are a Younique presenter, then I wouldn't bother to read this, as I am more than certain it will offend you! - but in a nutshell, I don't give a flying fuck. 

The Younique founders really need to take a closer look at the people they have presenting them! I suffer with Manic Depression, Anxiety & I also have numerous health problems. I joined Younique because I truly believed that it was this amazing company that was helping women, & just maybe it would help me, but I was wrong! oh yeah, it changed my life alright, but it wasn't for the better. so let me just start at the beginning.  

I joined this company in July 2015, it was great at first, everyone was so helpful, so friendly & "supportive". I am not going to lie, for so long I truly believed that I had found something that would change my life for the good - but I was wrong. I made a really big mistake, I decided to help a fellow presenter out & fix them a raffle because they owed their upline a pricey amount of products, so out of the goodness of my heart I fixed her a raffle - I didn't do this to cheat like so many people of younique like to believe! anyways..... I fixed this raffle, but then I fell ill as I suffer with Hydrocephalus & last year I underwent 3 lots of major brain surgery to save my life & so now I still suffer horrendous migraines daily, so I was in bed for around 2 weeks, which means I didn't get round to placing any orders, one of them orders being the fixed raffle, so then the girls upline (Danni Taylor) decided to stick her fat beak in & to avoid any aggro I just placed the order, as I was still feeling quite poorly. then a few days later I recieved a message from Danni Taylor asking for proof of me actually placing the order, I mean come on what business at all is that of hers? I refused, & that is when the bullying started, she called me a con, a theif, told me she was going to put me on a scammers page & then she proceeded to tell me to go & kill myself because my language had got slightly colorful. - this cut deep.  I had told Danni previously when I thought she was my friend about how I had once tried to commit suicide, so her throwing this in my face was just sick.  

I tried to be the bigger person & ignore what she had just thrown at me, but then a few days later, my upline's upline got in touch with me & asked me to explain myself & asked me why I had fixed a raffle, although I don't know why she bothered when she had already reported me to compliance, despite not hearing my side! she makes out she is all professional & she was looking out for her team but really, she was busy covering her arse so the lining of her pocket & ego wasn't affected never mind the fact that I was supposed to be in her team & I had just been told to go & end my life! fixing a fucking raffle is nothing in comparison! she then proceeded to tell me she couldn't help me - yeah bollocks, she didnt want to help me because she is a selfish bint - MONEY MONEY MONEY is ALL she clearly cares about.... Compliance got in touch with me a few days later & I got a warning for the raffle business, THAT should have been an end to it, but no! the bullying then got worse, I had random people I had never even spoken to messaging my personal profile, wishing me dead, calling me all sorts & THEN Danni Taylor set up a freebie for all presenters who reported me because for some reason in her deluded little mind, what she did was perfectly fine - like fuck it is... I then went back to the upline who didnt want to help me (Lucy Berwick) yeah i'm naming you ALL! & she "told" me that she had been in touch with Danni's upline, whether she actually had I will never know, because remember this "supportive" purple status upline, didnt want to help me.... so after this I binned off all my uplines, my sponsor had by this point already sacked me off because you know, she's green status now so the caring person she was before, her sayng she wanted to be my "friend" was all lies! she has now blocked me on Facebook even after she said that she wanted to stay friends HAHA, some friend. so I decided to try another presenter, Vicky Noble, but i'm duno why I bothered, because JUST like the rest she fobbed me off, said there was nothing she could do, it was out of her hands & I was to wait for compliance! yeah, I bet if the shoe was on the other foot & someone told her to go kill herself, she'd been taking it to the top! fucking hypocrites the lot of them! so I did some digging & got in touch with compliance myself & guess what.... all this bullying should have been dealt with by my UPLINES - you know, them "supportive, loving people" that apparently "think the world of their team" WHAT A MASSIVE PILE OF SHIT. after this I lost all passion & respect for Younique, the uplines didn't want to help me & neither did Compliance, they were all passing the book like the bunch of unprofessional arse-bandits they are, so why would I want to work with such twats building my business & making them look good? I didn't, it was nothing but a shambles, a bunch of two faced, backstabbing women only caring about how much money they could make by using abused women as their slogan! 

The Younique Foundation is probably an amazing place, but as for the make-up side of it, none of them care about those poor defenseless women, its all about MONEY & how high up in the company they can get, just a bunch of of desperate money orientated dogs selling products that to be frank are a pile of shit for what you pay, the liquid foundation is a watery pile of wank, & as for their products being 100% cruelty free, I wouldn't believe that for a minute, hence why I have never once said they are. they cant tell you what goes into their raw materials therefore their products ARE NOT 100% cruelty free, so go stick that in your overpriced Opulence Lipstick & smoke it!! Younique is women all competing against each other to the point were things like this happen, BULLYING HAPPENS & then nobody wants to take the blame because they're too busy thinking about their ego! i'd rather be thrown into a cage full of Lions!

so yeah, because nobody wanted to help me, shame on you all! this freebie that had been set up by the revolting Danni Taylor, eventually got me suspended for 3 days, so after that I thought fuck it, I don't want to work for this pile of shit for a company no more! I messaged compliance, had it out with them about Danni, but even they didn't give a shit, they just sent me this shitty email about how they had "reached out" to Danni & told her not to do it again, REACHED OUT? Like what the fuck? anyone could reach out, I could reach our & ring the stupid cunts neck! who do Compliance think they are, fucking Jesus? its slack as fuck & as for a suitable punishment, a slap on the hand? really? YOUNIQUE IS A FUCKING SHAMBLES & I advise everyone & anyone to not Join them. 

So...... I then went on to tell compliance not to bother reactivating my account after the fuckers suspended me, because I no longer wanted to run a business under a company that does absolutely nothing about Cyber Bullying. Danni Taylor is still running her business! nothing was done. the bully got so bad that I had no choice but to give up my business! so I ask if you are reading this to please warn all of your friends, family & loved ones, NOT to join Younique & NOT to buy from Danni Taylor!! 

would you buy from a presenter who goes around telling women with manic depression to kill themselves? Younique compliance also told me that raffles are ILLEGAL when you don't have a licence & guess what? they don't. so not only have I contacted the police about the cyber bullying, I have also contacted Trading Standards & the papers about how I was treat, & my next move is to speak with the gambling association, the whole fucking company is BENT.

You will find Danni Taylor's Raffle Group here..
please report the group & warn everyone you know to steer clear of her, because she is a spiteful, disgusting, vile, disgrace, she not only does Younique, but you will see in the group, that she runs numerous other companies too! Yet another one who is just a money orientated cunt nugget. no matter how much it's dressed up, Younique is the BIGGEST pyramid Scheme out there... & I wish I had never joined & let such vile women into my life, so steer clear. I wouldn't want any other women being bullied & treat in the awful manner that I was, join another company, one that is going to look out for you & follow through with their mission, because I can tell you something from my experience Younique does not, not the cosmetics side anyways!

I am not, & will never be sorry for writing this post, in fact I hope it helps many other women who have been treat like trash by Younique Presenters. I know many of women who were outcast & ended up sacking off their "business" because they weren't given the help that the presenters say will be given. its a web of lies to reel you in so they can build their teams & earn from you, its pretty fucking sick! & apparently, Vicky Noble has now gone to the Police this post, this amuses me because the police cant do nothing asides from "advise" me to take it down! YET AGAIN, Younique Presenters are trying to find ways of covering their arses!

well I think its about time everyone knew the truth about Younique & its dodgy, self centered, money orientated presenters. when you join younique you dont join to "run your own business" when you join younique, you become apart of a CULT, this I have learnt & seen, & when your face doesn't fit, they make you feel like shit, they don't help you, they pressure you to "do this, that & the other to succeed" yet when it all boils down to it, they do that so that THEY can succeed. I made myself ill because of this company, & I will never forgive these women that made out they were my friends, when really they only cared about me working my arse off building a business just to make them look good, all they care about is themselves.

Thursday, 19 May 2016

I am a Hydro Warrior... What is your Super Power?

Dear Diary.

I think that it is more than safe to say that today has been well & truly PANTS. This morning I went to see my GP to see about getting some new medication for my migraines as the stuff I am currently on isn't working for me anymore. 

When I got in there I completely broke down, I told him how the migraines are daily & that if I am not stuck in bed due to having a migraine then I am stuck into bed from being so exhausted & needing to constantly sleep. I told him how I have been suffering with blurred vision, dizzy spells, nausea & that the memory loss is just getting worse, I am forgetting the most minor things, the most littlest of things, I wake up some days I don't even know what day it is - & no, I am not exaggerating! so my GP is now referring me back to my GP because he doesn't want to give me anymore medications just in case my shunts are once again playing up, so for now I have to wait it out, continue with the medications that I am on & hope that I get an appointment through soon, becuse in all honesty, I cannot cope anymore. 

I just want all of this to stop, ever since I had surgery in Jan 2015, I feel like my life has become so different, I feel like I took the last 10 years when my shunt was working for granted, because now that I have two shunts in place, I wake up everyday poorly, there is this constant pressure in my head, every morning I wake up to nausea & a headache! some days I just want to die, some nights I go to bed, & I hope that I will go to sleep & never wake up. 

I need the room to stop spinning, I need this constant nausea to piss off, & the headaches to do one! I want my life back, the life that I had before all of this. before my shunt decided to give up on me. I am really sorry for this negative post, I just really needed to get this off my chest lmao! 

Thank you for reading if you have read this to the end. 
I will keep you all updated, please keep your fingers crossed that I get my appointment soon. X

Sunday, 15 May 2016

Diary post number, i'm not sure! Hey there!

Hello there diary, it's been a long time! 

so I just wanted to do an upto date get to know me kind of post for all the people that have just stumbled apon my blog, hey there!
πŸ‘‹ but I also feel I need to do an update for all the likers & followers that have been here from the very beginning & that's been a while now - 4 years!😳😁😁
Okay so my name is Jharmain Mortimer, my friends call me Jharr, I am almost 28 years old & I have the worlds most loving & supportive husband that any girl could ever ask for!πŸ‘Œ we in live in Leeds (UK) with our two beautiful children, Joel who is 6 this year, & Felicity who is 2 this year! my blog will also be about them, probably more them than me to be fair!πŸ˜‚ I am disabled, I was born at 27 weeks & I live with 2 VP Shunts due to Hydrocephalus & I also live with severe Bronchiactisis Lung Disease throughout both of my lungs, I also suffer with Glaucoma, Manic Depression & Anxiety! an absolute wreck basically!😝😝
Last year I went through 3 lots of major brain surgery due to my shunt failing after 10 years of being well & I ended up needing a second one putting in place so yeah, now I live with two shunts!πŸ™Œ on a daily basis I suffer migraines, fatigue, & nausea, but I still try really hard to get on with life even tho I do spend a lot of my time stuck in bed!πŸ‘Š I also suffer quite bad with memory loss... So if you don't always get a reply from me, or I forget to do something here that I said I would, its probably because I forgot!πŸ˜‚ seriously though, I have to laugh otherwise I would probably spend the majority of my days in tears!πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚
What else? Oh yeah, I have just started my own business with Acti-Labs which is a company that specialises in HD makeup, inch loss, weight loss, & skin care!😁😁😁 I am really enjoying it!πŸ‘ I was with Younique for a brief period but it was just too much for me, it was too how do I put this nicely? 'Clicky' if your face didn't fit or you didn't do something asap then lord forbid, so I sacked that off & basically started something else.. as you do!πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
I am currently concentrating on my health at the moment tho as I am struggling quite a bit with this British Bipolar weather, I mean seriously, raining one day, glorious sunshine the next, it's really messing around with the pressures in my brain!!😳 ..
Anyways I think I might have just about covered everything, that I can remember!πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I really look forward to getting to know all the new people that have joined my blog & also getting back in touch with the regulars! Thank you for still being here guys, it really does mean a lot.πŸ’—πŸ’—

Thank you for reading.. 
Speak soon beauties!😘😘😘