Sunday, 23 October 2016

- Just a short update..

Dear Diary... 

so it has only taken exactly 19 month, but I am hopeful that after all this time everything is now finally starting to fall into place! 

I had an MRI scan on my spinal cored & brain on 16th October which was merited by my neurosurgeon after me seeing him on 8th September & basically him taking one look at me & seeing how much pain I was in! now, CT scans I do not mind, MRI scans on the other hand.. I now totally understand why as a child my mu always had me sedated. I may have laughed & joked when they were rolling me in there, but once I was in there I started to freak a little bit, I felt like I was being buried alive & I am not normally a person who gets claustrophobic! plus all the noise & vibrating from the machine didn't help my situation. 

In the end I just laid there breathing deep with my eye squeezed shut & thinking about all the stupid memes I had come across on Google to take my mind off it. NOPE! NEVER AGAIN. EVER. Plus I then had this horrible headache afterwards that hung around all day long. 

we get the results for the mri scan on 7th November, & then yesterday I received a letter from the neurology clinic to say I am booked in to see someone on the 9th December! I am hoping this means that my neurosurgeon has looked over my scans & already has a care plan ready to put into action & fingers crossed come Christmas I will be on said care plan & know what is going on, because 19 months is a long time to be fobbed off by hospitals & suffer in constant everyday pain that you can't even explain without someone thinking that your milking it or trying to make shit about you. 

I am just glad I have some proper friends who understand what I am going through, because they are also going through something similar themselves, because there is no-way anyone that doesn't suffer like this can fully understand without being a bit of a nob, take my "best friend" in my previous post for instance! 

I am just soo ready to be out of pain & to begin feeling more positive again, because this limbo I have been living in for the last almost 20 months, has been almost like Hell. 

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